Muse of a Mystic Child

Samantha 

I met Samantha when I was 19 years old.  It was just over a year since my car crash and I felt I had been on a mystical trail and journey.  I had been writing about my mystical experiences with poetry.  My dream was to turn the poems into songs to share with others on a human level.  I felt songs where the best metaphorical expression of the divine nature hidden within us all.  I was searching for a guitarist who shared my same dream as well as my own heartfelt understanding.  

I was working at a convenience store operation to get by while I worked on my poetic expression.  I considered myself a frustrated and struggling artist.  I wanted to be a vocalist in a rock band.  I was asked to work a shift at another store to help relieve a young girl who had to work a double shift due to an illness of one of their clerks.  She had worked the 'graveyard' shift from 11 PM to 7 AM.  When the morning clerk didn't show up, the young girl had to pull the 7 AM to 3PM shift.   I didn't like this one particular store because of hazardous conditions in which the old style store had been designed.  It had no front windows.  It only had a glass door to a large building. That left the clerks out of public sight.   I had worked for a large corporation which had devoted a great deal of time, money and research into protecting the safety of their employees.  They had hired an 'ex-con' and professional career criminal to understand the mind of the 'armed robber's' who targeted small convenience store operations.  The worst store design was the one's without large see-through glass windows.  It was considered a 'kill zone' for clerks because of the high statics that had been studied.   The store was (in my mind and statistically) a 'death trap.'   I had no 'fear of death' due to my NDE a year prior, but I didn't like the idea of leaving this world before my time.  (I actually didn't want to have another experience and get to the other side only to be sent back again.) So my fear wasn't dying as much as it was having to adjust back to the physical sense of understanding on the material plane.  The industry was always in need of help due to the high risk involved.   It was a choice I made and my family was always worried about my personal safety.   I wasn't going to put myself in harm's way if I could help it.  I was very upset that my Manager and Supervisor had asked me to pull the shift since it was something I had spoken to them about in my interview.  I had surveyed their stores and told them I was free to work any location except for the store they had with no glass windows.  I agreed to the shift with the explicate understanding they would never again ask me to pull a shift in that location.  I drove to the store with a bad attitude.  I parked and walked into the front door and when I looked up to see the young girl standing behind the counter - some mysterious force beyond sight, sound and all comprehension hit me.  It left me stunned and silly.  I later told someone,

"I felt the world stop.  I felt it stop so dang fast and quick it sent my inside outside and I felt I was hurled around the world 10 times in the blink of an eye.  I was so full of joy and happiness that my spirit was dancing and singing in heaven.  It was like I was on a trip to the other side to thank God for the sight of this young girl.  I felt her 'inside' had taken the same journey with me.  I felt she was right there singing and dancing along with me.  It was the same type of 'lucid dreaming' that went on when I crashed my car - only this time there wasn't any physical pain involved.  I felt the gravity of time and space pulling my inside back into my body again and when I blinked my eye I was right back in the same moment again.  I felt a million years had passed in the blink of an eye.  I was so stunned I was out of breath and felt my whole had skipped a beat or two.  I was trying to catch up to it all again in my mental mind.   What had just happened to me?  What was it that had sent me on a mystical journey like that - just standing in the isle of a store?  I was hopelessly lost in that moment.  Then she spoke to me and I swear I had a 1000 angels singing to me through her voice.  There was the voice on the outside and the voice on the inside.  I heard both of them at the same time.  One voice was coming from her heart and speaking to mine.  The other voice was coming from her mind and speaking to me on a worldly level.  I never in my life felt I had felt such joy while standing in the middle of this world of ours.  I loved this girl the moment I laid eyes on her.  Her mind had other thoughts on the matter.  She told me she felt she was way to young to be getting caught up in the sort of dizziness and allowing her self to jump into the midst of it without caution.  She had a different approach about it.   She was trying to pretend nothing had happened.  I knew better.  I had seen her inside jumping up and down with joy just like mine had been when the world stopped on both of us."   

Everyone told me I had been struck by 'Cupid's arrow.'  I was familiar with the legend but had never really felt I had grasped the significance of it's meaning.  

I was mystified when I learned that not only did she enjoy the same type of music, but she had experience playing the guitar and had a dream of playing in a group.  Her favorite inspiration was an unknown guitarist by the name of "Joan Jett."   I felt we not only fell in love with one another.  I felt we fell in love with music.  It was easier for us to talk about our love for music with one another than to talk about our feelings toward one another.  I felt we had been guided together by a mystical light for the sake of our love for musical expression as an outward expression for our love for the 'divine' hidden in us all.